The Power of Retrospection and Introspection

The G-360 activity was great. I welcomed it because it allowed us to be upfront with one another in a positive atmosphere for a constructive purpose. During the challenge our group dynamic was interesting in that we treated each other very well and didn't have any big problems (unlike a typical group dynamic). But, as a consequence, issues that maybe should have been brought up and adressed were pushed aside and we became passive. However, this same kind courtesy was very much appreciated when the time came for our G-360 discussion because critique, hard enough as it is, is definitely made easier by kind and honest delivery.

The actual in-person comments weren't bad as expected, but I noticed we did take some time to formulate our thoughts and explain things in the best way possible about each other. It may have also helped that during the G-360 feedback meeting only 3 members including myself were present from our group and we were all girls. I'm interested to hear what feedback the guys might have for me, but I haven't gotten a chance to see them yet.

The actual results were in a way surprising, but in a way not. What was most surprising was the discrepancy in my ratings of myself to what my peers rated me, especially in the social category. I believe I rated myself so low in comparison because I've put myself into a leadership box. Think about it -- many of us have been involved in leadership roles and activities for years. We've taken multiple leadership, personality, and strengths assessments. I think what's happened is essentially what we call confirmation bias in research: we selectively favor or choose information that supports a belief we've come to hold. In my case, I've self-labelled myself as an introverted, analytical leader and consequently I rated myself lower on social 'wooer' items, although I'm pretty descent at them as well. I think this reveals an important lesson: In the process of cultivating your leadership style, be weary of confining yourself to a leadership box, especially one that causes you to place self-imposed limits on your abilities.

The second significant idea I realized is that I didn't really have any other hidden strengths or even blind spots; for the most part I ranged in average/middle scores meaning that I'm not terrible with these characteristics, but I'm not great in those areas either. I still need to work on polishing up those edges, but I'm definitely on my way.

Finally, the concept of forming open feedback loops is a difficult one to address and accomplish. When I think about the people I react the best and worst to when getting feedback, they vary greatly. For example, when I really respect someone or feel that they genuinely care about seeing me improve, then I take feedback very well. This leads me to another important point I think we need to acknowledge: It's hard to take feedback well when you're in a program with a constant competitive undertone and surrounded by smart, strong, and intimidating peers. When the feedback is coming from people in this environment, there's a possibility of distrust, even from your own group members because everyone's thinking of ways to one up each other, or save their own butts. Inevitably, such an environment may result in disregard or even distrust of the feedback peers may give. Thankfully I did not feel this way with my own group while discussing our G-360s, but I'm not going to pretend like this might not happen in the future. However, by the same token I sometimes actually react the worst when feedback comes from a close family member or friend because I realize they know most, if not all, of my weaknesses and that is an uncomfortable feeling to have when you're being called out by such as close person. You value what they think about you more than with a peer, so you feel bad when they point out that you let them down.

...I hope other fellows address this question about how to create open feedback loops as well because it's an interesting, but hard one to tackle. We'll undoubtedly need to figure out the best way to continuously and openly communicate while giving constructive feedback in BLF (it's not practical to hold mediator-led discussions every time an issue needs to be adressed in our groups). So we better start figuring out how.

As always,
Peace.
-Mariam