For me, when it comes to stress, it's a mixed bag. Sometimes it's good when I'm stressed and very busy because I don't waste time and feel productive, which is the best feeling in the world. When there's a deadline approaching, I time myself very well to get it done in the most efficient way possible. I have every minute and break between classes timed out. Then, when the day is over I feel relieved and proud that I made it through. But, there's a caveat. I think this happens only when I've been been thinking about the project or whatever needs to be done for a long time. Because I've been ruminating on it for so long, I sort of mentally prepare myself for the next 12 hours and with knowing what needs to be done. Then, I put in my earphones, press play on my 'LEGGO' playlist, and GO HAM. This is one of the songs that really motivates me when I'm stressed out:
The problem is when I have too many projects and things going on that I don't even have time to think about what needs to be done. And this is where I am at this point. I'm usually out for 12 hours a day, literally, and that doesn't even include study time. Here's an example of my day: 7am-12pm work, 12:45-2:00pm class, 2:00-5:00pm research lab, 5:30-7:00pm class. And that doesn't event include the meetings or random events I have to attend afterwards. So, when I come back home and have to spend another few hours on homework...it just doesn't happen. I'm too exhausted with the 60 hour work weeks. When it comes to these days when I'm beyond stressed out, I just shut down. I need something to numb me from everything going on so I usually waste time watching Ellen videos on Youtube, Hulu, or just sleep.
What's missing between the positive way I deal with stress and the one I just mentioned is not just the time factor, but I think because things are going so fast these days, I'm not even able to appreciate where I am at this point and be inspired to keep going. This time last year, I had just switched my major after having a rough freshman spring quarter and reconsidering my life goals. It was a scary period, but I used that uncertainty to motivate and inspire me to work harder so that I could reach the new goals I had just set for myself. Now, it's ironic because I'm on my way to achieving those goals, I have all these great things going for me, but because of that I've lost part of that intensity.
The good news is that I know ways that I can change and manage my stress better. For starters, I have not been keeping myself healthy. And no matter who you talk to they'll say exercise and eating right is not just good for your physical health, but your mental health as well. It helps clear your mind and helps you think more intelligently. I think if I began to reincorporate this into my daily routine, like switching out my Ellen Youtube video watching sessions with working out, and using that time to reflect on where I am and where I want to be, I can be rejuvenated and reinspire myself to working harder and keep going. But, I also know that doing anything cold turkey hardly ever works. I think if I slowly make steps towards these changes: first buying healthier groceries, working out every once in a while and then increasing the frequency, I'll be successful.
Wish me luck!
Mariam
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