Retreat Reflections

The retreat was great! Thanks Nora and your family for letting us be at your house, Daniel, Eddie, and Mike for setting it up for us, and the rest of the fellows that attended and willingly participated. It makes all the difference.

One question though...why do my video thumbnails always look so ridiculous?!

-Mariam

Stress Sucks...usually.

For me, when it comes to stress, it's a mixed bag. Sometimes it's good when I'm stressed and very busy because I don't waste time and feel productive, which is the best feeling in the world. When there's a deadline approaching, I time myself very well to get it done in the most efficient way possible. I have every minute and break between classes timed out. Then, when the day is over I feel relieved and proud that I made it through. But, there's a caveat. I think this happens only when I've been been thinking about the project or whatever needs to be done for a long time. Because I've been ruminating on it for so long, I sort of mentally prepare myself for the next 12 hours and with knowing what needs to be done. Then, I put in my earphones, press play on my 'LEGGO' playlist, and GO HAM. This is one of the songs that really motivates me when I'm stressed out:

The problem is when I have too many projects and things going on that I don't even have time to think about what needs to be done. And this is where I am at this point. I'm usually out for 12 hours a day, literally, and that doesn't even include study time. Here's an example of my day: 7am-12pm work, 12:45-2:00pm class, 2:00-5:00pm research lab, 5:30-7:00pm class. And that doesn't event include the meetings or random events I have to attend afterwards. So, when I come back home and have to spend another few hours on homework...it just doesn't happen. I'm too exhausted with the 60 hour work weeks. When it comes to these days when I'm beyond stressed out, I just shut down. I need something to numb me from everything going on so I usually waste time watching Ellen videos on Youtube, Hulu, or just sleep.

What's missing between the positive way I deal with stress and the one I just mentioned is not just the time factor, but I think because things are going so fast these days, I'm not even able to appreciate where I am at this point and be inspired to keep going. This time last year, I had just switched my major after having a rough freshman spring quarter and reconsidering my life goals. It was a scary period, but I used that uncertainty to motivate and inspire me to work harder so that I could reach the new goals I had just set for myself. Now, it's ironic because I'm on my way to achieving those goals, I have all these great things going for me, but because of that I've lost part of that intensity.

The good news is that I know ways that I can change and manage my stress better. For starters, I have not been keeping myself healthy. And no matter who you talk to they'll say exercise and eating right is not just good for your physical health, but your mental health as well. It helps clear your mind and helps you think more intelligently. I think if I began to reincorporate this into my daily routine, like switching out my Ellen Youtube video watching sessions with working out, and using that time to reflect on where I am and where I want to be, I can be rejuvenated and reinspire myself to working harder and keep going. But, I also know that doing anything cold turkey hardly ever works. I think if I slowly make steps towards these changes: first buying healthier groceries, working out every once in a while and then increasing the frequency, I'll be successful.

Wish me luck!

Mariam

Happiness = Success

It's interesting that we've been asked this question. I'm looking forward to reading everyone else's responses because I definitely think there will be a huge variety of answers. I've had this question posed to me before and I would say my idea of success hasn't changed much...until about thirty minutes ago.

Thirty minutes ago, this would have been my response: I grew up believing that success meant becoming a doctor...shocker right? But through time I’ve been exposed to other ideas and experiences. Through my sister, I’ve learned that success can't be limited to simply monetary or professional success. If so, she'll never be 'successful' according to that definition. Instead, success is overcoming the small obstacles that in turn, make you a better individual than you were before. In addition, success can't be limited to a certain field. It's just not fair to say that a CEO is more 'successful' than a writer. Rather, what makes that distinction is the amount of work you place in becoming the best. In general, success is becoming the best through the individual roadblocks you may encounter, and giving back what you have achieved.

But now, I'm not so sure. Thirty minutes ago, I watched a video that a classmate of mine posted that we're going to discuss in class. The video talks about happiness and success. The speaker is a CEO of a new and revolutionary idea that says if we place so much emphasis on being 'successful', happiness can never be attained, which further stunts our potential of success. It's not reality that shapes us, it's the lens through which you see reality. So if you change the lens, you can change happiness, and change every single educational, business, and personal outcome at the same time. (Every time you reach a goal and expect to be happy with the success, your brain automatically reaches for the next goal and so on and so forth. By doing so, one never really reaches the state of 'success' we hope to.)

So, the correct formula to success is actually the opposite of what we have traditionally believed. When your brain is in a state of positivity, it experiences a happiness advantage which means that it performs significantly better than in neutral, negative, or stress. Your energy, intelligence, and creativity rises. In his research he found that every single business outcome improves and your brain is more productive.

A lot of my former definition of success was dependent on concentrating on the blocks and challenges you face. Although the state at which you started and where you have ended is really important to a measure of success, it's not the best or sole definition. Now, by watching the video my classmate posted, I think my views have changed a little. I'd add this to my previous definition: a successful person is one that has reached the highest 'happiness advantage' state, because they are the ones that optimize their abilities and are the ones who are the best at what they do.

I encourage you to watch the video yourself (especially if you don't agree with what he said or are skeptical), because I don't think my explanation did it justice. The guy is hilarious and very insightful and will be the most useful 10 minutes you spend today. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work

Peace,

Mariam

Leading Through Listening

The thumbnail of this video looks like I'm about to sneeze...oh well, c'est la vie!

Enjoy my thoughts about what kind of leader I think I am!

See you again in about a week,
Mariam