Moments of Happiness

This was an interesting prompt and I enjoyed it. I also noticed my 3 moments of happiness that came to mind had a few things in common...

Peace.
Mariam

CHALLENGE CHECK-IN!

It's getting closer and closer to December 31st...how do I feel about it thus far? View on!

Comment and let me know what you think!

-Mariam

Exploring the Other

Ernest took me to church and I took him to Fast-a-thon! By the way I can't believe I forgot to mention this, but I'm so so so proud, impressed, and honored that he actually fasted the whole day for the event! Most people can do the no food part, but he also went without drink and water (not to mention turning down lunch with Eddie haha) to get the whole experience. Mega brownie points for Ernest! 

Peace!

Mariam

Retreat Reflections

The retreat was great! Thanks Nora and your family for letting us be at your house, Daniel, Eddie, and Mike for setting it up for us, and the rest of the fellows that attended and willingly participated. It makes all the difference.

One question though...why do my video thumbnails always look so ridiculous?!

-Mariam

Stress Sucks...usually.

For me, when it comes to stress, it's a mixed bag. Sometimes it's good when I'm stressed and very busy because I don't waste time and feel productive, which is the best feeling in the world. When there's a deadline approaching, I time myself very well to get it done in the most efficient way possible. I have every minute and break between classes timed out. Then, when the day is over I feel relieved and proud that I made it through. But, there's a caveat. I think this happens only when I've been been thinking about the project or whatever needs to be done for a long time. Because I've been ruminating on it for so long, I sort of mentally prepare myself for the next 12 hours and with knowing what needs to be done. Then, I put in my earphones, press play on my 'LEGGO' playlist, and GO HAM. This is one of the songs that really motivates me when I'm stressed out:

The problem is when I have too many projects and things going on that I don't even have time to think about what needs to be done. And this is where I am at this point. I'm usually out for 12 hours a day, literally, and that doesn't even include study time. Here's an example of my day: 7am-12pm work, 12:45-2:00pm class, 2:00-5:00pm research lab, 5:30-7:00pm class. And that doesn't event include the meetings or random events I have to attend afterwards. So, when I come back home and have to spend another few hours on homework...it just doesn't happen. I'm too exhausted with the 60 hour work weeks. When it comes to these days when I'm beyond stressed out, I just shut down. I need something to numb me from everything going on so I usually waste time watching Ellen videos on Youtube, Hulu, or just sleep.

What's missing between the positive way I deal with stress and the one I just mentioned is not just the time factor, but I think because things are going so fast these days, I'm not even able to appreciate where I am at this point and be inspired to keep going. This time last year, I had just switched my major after having a rough freshman spring quarter and reconsidering my life goals. It was a scary period, but I used that uncertainty to motivate and inspire me to work harder so that I could reach the new goals I had just set for myself. Now, it's ironic because I'm on my way to achieving those goals, I have all these great things going for me, but because of that I've lost part of that intensity.

The good news is that I know ways that I can change and manage my stress better. For starters, I have not been keeping myself healthy. And no matter who you talk to they'll say exercise and eating right is not just good for your physical health, but your mental health as well. It helps clear your mind and helps you think more intelligently. I think if I began to reincorporate this into my daily routine, like switching out my Ellen Youtube video watching sessions with working out, and using that time to reflect on where I am and where I want to be, I can be rejuvenated and reinspire myself to working harder and keep going. But, I also know that doing anything cold turkey hardly ever works. I think if I slowly make steps towards these changes: first buying healthier groceries, working out every once in a while and then increasing the frequency, I'll be successful.

Wish me luck!

Mariam

Happiness = Success

It's interesting that we've been asked this question. I'm looking forward to reading everyone else's responses because I definitely think there will be a huge variety of answers. I've had this question posed to me before and I would say my idea of success hasn't changed much...until about thirty minutes ago.

Thirty minutes ago, this would have been my response: I grew up believing that success meant becoming a doctor...shocker right? But through time I’ve been exposed to other ideas and experiences. Through my sister, I’ve learned that success can't be limited to simply monetary or professional success. If so, she'll never be 'successful' according to that definition. Instead, success is overcoming the small obstacles that in turn, make you a better individual than you were before. In addition, success can't be limited to a certain field. It's just not fair to say that a CEO is more 'successful' than a writer. Rather, what makes that distinction is the amount of work you place in becoming the best. In general, success is becoming the best through the individual roadblocks you may encounter, and giving back what you have achieved.

But now, I'm not so sure. Thirty minutes ago, I watched a video that a classmate of mine posted that we're going to discuss in class. The video talks about happiness and success. The speaker is a CEO of a new and revolutionary idea that says if we place so much emphasis on being 'successful', happiness can never be attained, which further stunts our potential of success. It's not reality that shapes us, it's the lens through which you see reality. So if you change the lens, you can change happiness, and change every single educational, business, and personal outcome at the same time. (Every time you reach a goal and expect to be happy with the success, your brain automatically reaches for the next goal and so on and so forth. By doing so, one never really reaches the state of 'success' we hope to.)

So, the correct formula to success is actually the opposite of what we have traditionally believed. When your brain is in a state of positivity, it experiences a happiness advantage which means that it performs significantly better than in neutral, negative, or stress. Your energy, intelligence, and creativity rises. In his research he found that every single business outcome improves and your brain is more productive.

A lot of my former definition of success was dependent on concentrating on the blocks and challenges you face. Although the state at which you started and where you have ended is really important to a measure of success, it's not the best or sole definition. Now, by watching the video my classmate posted, I think my views have changed a little. I'd add this to my previous definition: a successful person is one that has reached the highest 'happiness advantage' state, because they are the ones that optimize their abilities and are the ones who are the best at what they do.

I encourage you to watch the video yourself (especially if you don't agree with what he said or are skeptical), because I don't think my explanation did it justice. The guy is hilarious and very insightful and will be the most useful 10 minutes you spend today. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work

Peace,

Mariam

Leading Through Listening

The thumbnail of this video looks like I'm about to sneeze...oh well, c'est la vie!

Enjoy my thoughts about what kind of leader I think I am!

See you again in about a week,
Mariam

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles...well kind of

The trip to Goodwill Columbus was probably one of my favorite outings with BLF thus far. You might be surprised to hear that, but I really loved visiting their facilities and hearing how they operate. As a sibling of a special needs individual, what they did really amazed me. My sister participates in an adult day program back home that's similar to what Goodwill has setup, but it's no where near varied in terms of the activities or support they provide...I mean they have a workout gym and art studio for their clients, how cool is that! I realize places like that are rare, so I definitely valued being able to visit and get a behind the scenes look at what they do. Also, I just started becoming interested in social entrepreneurship, or ways in which non-profits benefit society while also being self-sustaining themselves. Instead of just handouts and waiting for monetary donations to come in, Goodwill is able to (mainly) support themselves while also providing services so the clients can help themselves. On top of all that, the real kicker was that I didn't even know Goodwill did any of this. I, like thousands of others, just thought they sold donated clothes and goods and assumed that the money went directly to charity in some form of handouts. I had no idea that they were a top, mutli-million dollar service company!

Goodwill model of social entrepreneurship

Now to the even more fun part: the BLF Challenge. Disbelief was probably the one word to describe my reaction to the challenge announcement. On the one hand I knew I shouldn't have been that surprised that we were to get vehicle donations for this semester's challenge because it's BLF and what they do is always out of the box, but regardless I was surprised. "How are we supposed to get actual cars donated to a bunch of college kids?!" was what was running through my head that day. But, since then it's been about a week and I can say that that surprise is slowly turning into excitement. This will no doubt an experience that will bring us all together (even if we have a couple of rough patches along the way). We'll definitely be telling the next BLF class, "...oh I remember our first challenge! Man what a challenge that was..." And even though the real-life aspect of the challenge, which is probably what scares me most, also what excites me. In no other leadership program have I been given a task and said, "There, now go for it." We've had the theories of leadership taught to us over and over, but no practical experience which took us out of class, out of extracurricular clubs, or even out of the OSU college bubble. This is the real-world, kid. Get working.

But I am VERY relived that we at least have some contacts from Goodwill that will help us along the way, and our POD leaders to mentor and calm us down when we begin freaking out. Now, I'm just hopeful that our working as a group for the first time goes well!

I think my most helpful strengths for this particular challenge will definitely be input, discipline, and harmony. The other strengths I had were achiever and context. The only reason I didn't list them as being as helpful was because I realize that there are quite a few other BLF juniors who are high achievers, so we won't be lacking in that department, and context because that is more helpful in analyzing what factors were at play in a given challenge and how to improve them next time (which I think will definitely be helpful later on in the year). As an 'inputer', I collect information..a lot. I'm good at research and looking at things in depth, which for a project of this scale will be crucial. Along with that, discipline will be the thing that helps me get through the long nights and many hours leading up to December 31st, which I'm definitely anticipating. Finally...harmony. Harmony, harmony, harmony. With 5 strong, yet distinctively different leaders in each group you can bet that we will butt heads occasionally. And when that happens, I'll be the one trying to get people to look from each other's points of view, compromise, and get along. Conflict ain't the way to go, yo.

What I don't quite have under my belt is the art of influencing. You can be sure that I'm a logical and strategic thinker, but often times you need to appeal to more than logic when trying to get people to do what you want (the irony, huh?). I do understand that fact and I know it's a skill that needs a little more honing. So, I will definitely let the "Wooers" in my group do their thing, convince people to give us their cars, but I'll also be watching and learning from them so in the future I have a better idea of how to get what I want!

Wish us luck...
Mariam

The Summer I Survived...

I did it. I survived. WOOOOO!

Okay so I know I didn't bike to Gambier and back...but whatever, I'm still proud and very happy that I made it through my first Pelotonia ride!

That was definitely among the highlights of my summer. But confession time: at the start of June, I didn't think that I would have any highlights to share, simply because I thought my summer wasn't nearly going to measure up to those of my friends, who were either travelling abroad or getting ready for grad school and such. But turns out I was pleasantly surprised!

In addition to Pelotonia, I stayed in Columbus to work in my lab, experienced the crazy weather that only Ohio could have, got permission to go home and spend the last month with family for Ramadan, and visited the South for the first time in my life as part of a surprise Eid trip to Atlanta, GA!

The first part of my summer involved beginning my Fellowship program. As a Pelotonia Fellow I get funded to conduct my own cancer research project (how traumatic stress continues to affect cancer survivors' physical health after diagnosis and treatment). I worked 40 hrs/week in my Stress & Health Lab, essentially becoming a full-time employee along with my other lab colleagues. I also volunteered 4-6 hrs in a second lab (Clinical Neuroscience Lab). On top of that I was pet and house-sitting for a friend in Dublin, OH while she and her family were out of the country. Although this meant that I was busy beyond belief, I realized that this gave me a taste of what it would be like to live the life of a clinical researcher--I wasn't just a college student anymore. I had responsibility, people counting on me, and a completely different perspective than I have had so far in my college career. The verdict? I like it. I like it a lot...ONWARDS TO 5-7 MORE YEARS OF GRAD SCHOOL!

But, I also managed to have some fun while in Columbus, especially after the huge storm that hit us. My friends and I were planning on going to Cedar Point that same weekend, but we had to cancel. Instead, we explored the aftermath of the big storm on campus, went to the movies (twice), and then they stayed over with me while their power was out. It was a weird, surreal, and twilight zone-like experience with half the city out of power...but it was really awesome and fun to just chill out with my friends.

I then got permission to go home mid-July for a month for Ramadan when we Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset. I wasn't sure if I'd be allowed to go for so long because my P.I. (Principal Investigator)/faculty research advisor is kind of strict and would have liked my help in the lab, but surprisingly she was very okay with it (and actually knew what Ramadan was!). Yay!

So I went home. I started fasting. I bought a bike and also started training for Pelotonia (which was 2 weeks away at this point). It wasn't the most fun thing to train while not eating or drinking for 16 hours a day, but my family was really supportive of me and I couldn't have done it without them (especially when I kept making up excuses not to train haha). Anyways, much too quickly the weekend of Pelotonia came and I rode 25 miles from Columbus, OH to Pickerington, OH.

Now time to get serious: Pelotonia was a great experience and I truly am glad that I participated.

I think participating in Pelotonia has made me even more proud of the research I am doing. During the opening ceremonies when I was wearing "My research is funded by Pelotonia" t-shirt, I was actually approached by someone who wanted to know what that was. Her interest in my research was so nice and it made me even more proud of the work I'm doing, even though it's not a traditional cancer research project.

The start of Pelotonia 2012!

During the actual ride I went my own casual pace and it went by very quickly and easily. I finished in about 3 hours. I loved that we went through the city/country roads (I think that's the closest I've ever physically been to corn fields!) because it was very peaceful and it was nice to see the central Ohio area with leisure. I also rode with another Pelotonia fellow who I was meeting for the first time, but with whom I had a lot of mutual friends, so I'm glad to say that I made a new friend through Pelotonia too. The best parts of the ride was the sense of camaraderie and encouragement we had from those around us and the sidelines. I thought it was great how people lined up on the streets with their families, or sat on their porches to cheer us on, telling us to keep going and that we can do it. It was really, really heartwarming to hear them say thank you for riding. I wanted to say back, "Thank you for supporting and encouraging us." Even with the fundraising, I was thinking that it would be a daunting task to raise all that money. But, our friends and family were very encouraging and proud of what I was doing and I ended up raising $1,000--$350 more than my goal.

Now that Pelotonia is over, I think I'm going to keep with biking as a new hobby. So in a way, I'm also grateful that I did Pelotonia because it made me experience and participate in a new activity that I otherwise wouldn't have been exposed to. I'm looking forward to sticking to and growing this new hobby, getting in healthier shape, and wearing my Pelotonia jersey with pride in the process.

The Islamic Society of Joplin Mosque, August 2012

On another serious note: Ramadan was also a very sad and disappointing time this year. First was the Sikh Temple shooting where a white supremacist shot and killed 6 civilians. This attack was followed by a string of attacks on Mosques, including one that was burned to the ground, and vandalism on tombstones at a Muslim cemetery. Many people aren't aware of these things, and if you're not, that's okay. But PLEASE, start to educate yourself as to what's going on around you and to your neighbors. Whether they're American Sikhs, American Muslims, or American Aliens there's one thing that unifies us all--we are ALL Americans. Let's keep this country a place to be proud of, and one where hate has no place. Thank you.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/18/us/ramadan-violence/index.html

Anyways, a week later was Eid, or the celebration that marks the end of Ramadan. It's sort of like our version of Christmas, except that we have 2 Eids during the year (double the gifts and money!). My sister and parents went to visit our cousin in Atlanta, GA because he just moved there with his family and our aunts from India were also visiting. My younger brother and I couldn't go because we had to move into our apartments before college started again. Needless to say, they were a little sad because we weren't going to spend Eid with them (especially Mom). But, they felt a little bit better that our older brother would be coming home from Sweden where he's currently working/studying to spend it with us...fortunately for them we had other plans. We secretly booked our own tickets to Atlanta and surprised them for the weekend. It was a wonderful time seeing our baby cousins, aunts, and having my whole family together since it's such a rare occurrence.

Younger brother, me, older brother, older sister, Mom, and Dad
Eid-al-Fitr 2012

...SO. Now that I've written a book about my summer, what are my final thoughts? Although I didn't travel the world, make an amazing research discovery, or finish all 180 miles of Pelotonia I realize that my summer was actually pretty awesome. It just supports a philosophy of mine that I try to live by everyday: Take every opportunity that life gives you, make the best of what you have, and you will no doubt be surprised as to where you end up.

That's all for now. Peace!

Mariam